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Ideal for: bathroom attendants looking for
additional income
Job specifications: They didn’t have fabric softeners in the 13th century.
And since sheep’s wool is stiff and itchy, wool traders had to find a way to
soften it up into something more comfortable (if not exactly fragrant). The
magical substance: two-week old human urine! Best not to speculate how they
found out and what other, er, “natural substances” they experimented with,
but the bottom-line is that you spend your working hours collecting urine
and then dancing on it. Yes, dancing. Pour it on the wool, and stomp for two
hours per length.
Drawbacks: And you thought changing diapers was nasty business. Aside from
having to stand knee-deep in the pee of total strangers for nine hours of
every day, there’s a big chance that you’ll slip and take an unexpected dip
in the cesspool.
Perks: Supply never runs out, and you have no competition. Business-wise,
it’s a good deal. And think of the possibilities for product innovation!
Soaking your clothes in the alkaline waters of urine may set the stage for
the invention of bleach. Get your patents, now.
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