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notMENSA society for the stupid |
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Fabulously funny fantasy novel .
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Historic Jobs - Worst Jobs for Men :: Number 12 - Charcoal Maker |
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Ideal for: those who want to travel
Job Specifications: Heigh ho, heigh ho, it’s to the
west you go—or anywhere that the woodcutters go, actually. Consider yourself
a wood scavenger, picking up stray boughs that lie dry on the forest floor.
Then you head back to your hut, and get a good fire going. Not too strong,
now—don’t want to burn the wood away—and be sure to block the wind. It’s a
really delicate process that requires strict vigilance, and stamina. One
load of charcoal requires 100 hours of total concentration and absolutely no
sleep. Too bad they hadn’t invented espressos yet.
Drawbacks: The forest’s thick with wild animals,
many of them hungry, and if they don’t get you, the thieves hiding behind
the bushes will. Gathering the wood alone takes days, followed by long hours
standing in front of a furnace and inhaling toxic levels of smoke and fumes.
Once that’s finished, you have to sell your charcoal—or head back to the
forest for another load. Work never stops. Lucky you.
Perks: You get plenty of exercise, and if you manage
to catch a stray rabbit, you have plenty of charcoal for a lovely grilled
lunch. |
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